Right or wrong?

Do you ever have those moments with your spouse that

your intentions are good but then it turns south quickly?

Seems to be happening to me DAILY!!

I just despise the thought of right and wrong!

Why can't there be a in between?

Funny....it seems I am always on the wrong side.

Anyone got any advice or techniques that I could perhaps end on the right side?

 

An eeyore kind of mood...

It seems as if I am always a downer on my posts..

Well my personality really isn't a "downer" the majority of the time...but I do have an eeyore kind of mood today.  Trying to keep my eyes open and shake it off and start anew today.  I had my test injection yesterday in my back and if I had to say it was a success...I would say no.   I truly thought i would walk..painfully...into same day surgery...have the injection of lidocaine to test to see if I get pain relief...hop of the table and home I would go feeling like a whole new person.   Nope that didn't happen...sure my back was numb in one area but then guess what...the pain was still there BELOW the injection area!!  I guess the only fortunate outcome is i know on test #2 he will need to go lower!!  I pray that lower is the answer.

By the end of the day I was so miserable.   So today its with a blah mood that i am trying to focus on the good...focus on the possibilities that lie ahead.   I know God is challenging me for a reason.  To make me stronger.

To make me more thankful for what I have.   

 I have 7 wonderful heads to hug each day.

I have 14 hands that I give a high five each day.

I have 3 little ones that still think I am pretty cool each day!

I have the great country outdoors that give me a beautiful view.

I have the air in my lungs and my heart that beats for me.

So I am going to shake this Eeyore mood of mine and 

get set straight, pain and all, and enjoy my day

with the things that matter most to me.

Best of all I get to stay home doing it!!

 

Reminds me of being a kid!

I had a moment today watching Grant that brought me back to being a 

kid too at one time.

There Grant sits on his knees bent over with his face into the grass

crying..crying cuz his Daddy had to go to a meeting.

Crying because he didn't get to go.

Crying because his dad just got home and already has to leave.

So daddy waves as is leaving and tells him he will be home soon.

But that just make Grant angrier and cry harder.

But within minutes of the truck being out of the driveway 

Grant gets up and walked over to the open area so he can

see his Daddy's truck drive away on the road...without him.

He just stood and watched...quiet by this time..but watching and

thinking and then eventually walking back to the house.

It was sad to watch and also reminded me of being a kid.

Every summer I used to go spend it at my Aunt and Uncles

house, Carol and Arlan's, in Lake City, MN.

I usually spent a week there.   Don't get me wrong...I loved

going there.  I looked forward to it because they were 

like 2nd parents to us.  They never had kids

of their own...so we were their own.

I counted the days til I got to go.

But....there was always that moment...that moment when you knew

Mom and Dad were gonna leave soon to head back home and 

leave you behind.  They had a brick lampost that stood towards

the end of their driveway yet still in the grass that I would always stand leaning

against and peeking around watching their big Chrysler drive away down the

road out of sight.  I cried...I always cried and usually I stood there

alone and briefly wishing I could go back home too because

I knew i would miss them.   After a bit...I too would then 

turn and walk to the house and know that even though

I was sad at that moment...my fun was just  beginning for

the week!!

I miss you Carol and Arlan!

I miss being a kid sometimes!

One pound at a time....

So it's Monday...that means...it is weigh in day!

I have not stepped on the scale since 1 week ago.

As I had put in a previous post I had gone back

to Park Rapids and had my lap band tightened a bit...

So in 2 weeks..I have lost  (drum roll....)  11 pounds!

I am pleased about that!!   It feels good to succeed.

I really have been sticking to my protein and only 1 cup of food per meal

Some days are tough...really tough to stay away from the junk.

But along with the other things I am working on...I am working on this too!!

 I keep on telling myself it didn't come back on quick...so don't take it off quick.

I am back to drinking water and crystal lite....but I sure miss my Diet Cokes 

and Mtn Dews.   

I find that I usually want to eat if I am stressed about something or sad..

It is a coping thing for me.

I know that for sure.   Because I want to beat myself up so many times

that I also can eat more so nobody can get at me too.

Isn't it funny how the thing we don't want the most...for me gaining weight and

being an overweight mommy....we end up being exactly that.

So walking, drinking water and counting protein are on my daily

to do list!!   Kaitlyn and Julia and I are gonna do a  5K in July and Kater is training for the 

half marathon...I would love to but I don't think i can get there by the end of July.  i am up to walking about 2 miles which I easily could do more but my back yells at 

me in the evenings if I do.   

But....11 pounds it is...just in case you were wondering!!  

Yippee!!!

and yes I am smiling!!

The best quote of the day ...

"Mom? "

What Grant...

"I love you"

Could that be any sweeter coming from a little 3 year old as he hugs your leg!

I am lucky to get to hear that everyday!

I love my Grant right back!

It is one of those days....

It is just one of those days....although the sun is shining...the shade sems to be over our house.   Kids are hot and cold today.  one minute bickering and the next best buds.  I am wondering if they will ever be thankful they came from a large family.  I hope my dreams haven't mess theirs up.

As you can tell...kim is in a downer mode.

I have beein living in cronic back pain and after weeks of that the morale goes down rignt along with patience.

I don't want days like this....its a constant battle.  I get tired

Don't get me wrong...I love my life and my kiddos.

I just get tired.

and you would think the kids would fight elsewhere...but no  right on my side..loud and clear.

I have dealing with chronic, severe back pain now for over 1 month...outta control...and this make me so I can't cope with it all. The super-woman...super-mom do it all just can't do it!

I just want to be normal....feel normal and have my normal patience level....God is telling me to slow down...I know that and I have finally taken steps to do so.  I miss work....doubt they miss me...but it was a must to focus on me and get me back to the place it needs to be.

So...today is a day that is real...no fancy sharades...just real.  

Being real...being honest!

Tomorrow...a new day...another day to focus on my blessings and thanking the Lord for giving me what I have.

I have a lot...i just want to be able to focus on them!!

New words......

 

So Delaney is exploding lately with new vocabulary so I just have to share:

Tractor  (of course what else)

Outside

Hi (said with much expression!!)

Ouch

Momma ...mom...mommeeeee!!!   (over and over til I respond)

Julia...(hollers it....)

"Gingerrrrrrr"

It is soo much fun to hear her use her voice and it is all said with much animation and expression!   The daily joys of being Delaney's mom!!