Well...it has been awhile since I have posted. It has been a long journey that is for sure!! It has been 5 weeks since my back surgery and each and everyday I pray it will be better. And yes of course it is better than day one....but good grief I should be doing better by now. I still have a lot of pain. I can't drive because the twisting hurts too much and it just simply is too much.
So many people have asked how I am and All I can answer is "fair". I feel for my family who is tired of seeing me sit....have pain...walk for a little while..and then sit some more.
I hope I made the right decision to do this.
I don't want this post to be all gloom and doom.....sorry....but most days that is how they feel. I have to say that when the days start out with a hug from Doug....it seems to help. Kids too of course.
Life seems to be going along okay. The kids feel the change and I can see it in them. Quieter and less talkative to me and some back talk at times. I try to explain the best I can but kids are used to life revolving around them and essentially it has been me.
Some have been more helpful than othersl I appreciate every little thing they do. Even picking up a sock for me is a huge help. The little things matter so very much.
A few people have brought over food and I thank them for that. What a huge blessing is that? Sitting down for a meal together with me being able to join them vs me out sitting in the chair recovering from the activity of making supper. So those who have...Oh how I thank you!!
I have learned some hard lessons too. The mental work is a job in itself as well.
I love my hubby so very much for helping me put on my socks and shoes to even helping me shower in the beginning. He has run this show with no complaintsssl
well...that is probably enough about me. I will take any prayers that you may have to offer....I will also do the same for you!!
I do not have a job to go back to now....they took my position away and made me casual. This is the hardest thing for me to get a grip on. I take it personally when money is what makes their decision. Money vs a nurse who loved what she did. But I know God has a plan for me and this rough spell we are in is a test and someday We may just know why this has all happened.
I love to isolate myself and that is so bad for me but I do it very well...so if I don't keep in touch...I am sorry. My thoughts are filled with many things.
Thank you for tolerating my venting. It is therepeutic for me.
~~~~Kim~~~
