Rembering my dad....

I think about him all the time....there is this void that just seems to linger around me all the time....I wonder what heaven is like all the time .

I went over to my parents' place last weekend and mom wanted to give some of dad's things to us if we had a need.   I had mixed feelings about it.   For one I was thankful for the things and on the other hand I didn't want to take them because it made me really feel his presence, which is  a good thing, but also that he really is gone.

It IS a weird feeling to know one of your parents' is not here anymore.

I took 3 of his coats....some for me and some for Doug.

I pulled out a few pieces of paper the other day from one of the pockets....gas coupons!  It made me chuckle...he was always trying to save something somewhere if he could and it was easy to do.  The other thing was one of those little pieces of paper you pull off when you are waiting in line....he was I39.    I held it in my hand....read the number over and over....felt the paper   between my fingers many times and wondered where he was when he was in line and got this number...how long did he have to wait....and why did he save it?

Little thoughts but weigh heavy on me daily.

I miss you Dad....you were such a solid and reassuring man to go to if I needed to talk...so now I talk to you in my head and wait for signs you are answering.

Another reminder everyday to love those you have because you never know how long you will have them!!

Thankful Tuesday

My sister n law....Pam!!

Repeat....and repeat...and repeat!

So about a year ago I decided I would choose one word that I would focus on to be my word for the year.  That word was FAITH!   I worked at it,  thought about it, and believed in it so many times during the year that I can't even count.   It was always on my mind.

So this year......I chose it again because I truly feel that 2011 was a rough year and felt that my one word of  FAITH...deserved a repeat for this year!

I need to have faith...faith that this year of 2012 is gonna be better....wiser...easier...and a path much more wider to take.  

So since the year is early in its' days....I am going to focus on FAITH   again!

I think it deserves a repeat and actually defines itself in the fact that I am giving it another go around...because having faith takes time and belief beyond our control!

I pray each day for my faith to carry me a little higher....a little stronger...and then perhaps at the end of each day...a bit more patient and wise and loving.

First varsity match!!

James has been waiting and waiting to finally get a spot on varsity...here he goes....

Whatcha thinkin' about?

James.....after he lost his match...wonder what he is thinking about....

Thankful Tuesday

A different side...

Do you ever have one of those moments when you see a different side to a person

and wonder..."how in the world could I have been fooled?"

Well that is what I have been...fooled big time

Learning what people are truly made up of is  a difficult thing to handle at times and since I am in kinda a little bit off lately...it was a bit harder to handle.

It is hard not to take it personally...but the not so nice words were exactly what they were....personal.

So I am sitting back and waiting...waiting for an apology and for mainly the realization to set in that yes people do have different sides that they may only show when they feel they are ready to let you know who they really are.

Bummer cuz I really enjoyed this friend.