Where does one begin? Doug left on Wednesday for his annual trip of hunting. Which I TRULY do get excited for him because he is one of the most dedicated daddy's, hard working, and never stops man that I know. I truly believe we all REQUIRE time to rejuvinate our souls and to have time alone to think. I also am a firm believer in family time. So Doug was gone with his brother and his dad for some hunting for 4 days. I enjoy time alone with the kids too.....UNTIL things start to RAPIDLY start to go downhill.
I usually am a kinda go with the flow mom...I try to let squabbles resolve themselves...unless there is physical harm being done to one another...and I also don't mind a little while of loud fun/wrestling/laughter etc. It is when it turns to name calling, arguing, fighting loudly and crying that this momma starts to lose it...get stressed out..want to run away etc. I escape to the bathroom sometimes...only to be found in a matter of 30 seconds.
I know I chose this life...and I love my life. But when behavior that is known to be a no-no is done for hours at a time...this mom starts to melt and melt quickly. So on Saturday...a beautiful blustery morning I headed to football with Mathias and Delaney which went well...cold but well.
About 2:00 is when the first set of tears showed themselves. Boys wrestling...then crying...then fighting got the best of me All I want is my kids to do is love each other and I know that it isn't realistic for them to be best buds all the time...but maybe all day once would be a gift! So I disciplined....yelled a bit (which I tell myself to not do but my emotions get the best of me)..nobody listened and it paused briefly and started right back up again. I disappeared to the laundry room...tried to stay busy and kept Delaney by me.
Of course through out all of this is constant "mom..I want...... or mom will you get me this?" Non stop wants and needs. Then the finale hit around 4:00. We just had our basement refinished and it is beautiful and our protected zone...no food...drinks...etc down there. It is ALWAYS kept clean and appreciated! Well of course the boys decided to BREAK that rule too. So wrestling and rough housing continued and I continued to tell them to please stop...please stop...and to PLEASE (with a loud voice of course) STOP!! Well...a loud noise...followed by a tornado of feet running up the steps to line up for confession time. Mathias and James wrestling on the couch caused Mathias to fall off the couch and hit his head on the wall...(Mathias was fine) and the end result ...A HUGE HEAD INDENTATION IN OUR BRAND NEW WALL!! I was speechless...took me over an hour to make myself go look and then...I cried..cried hard in my safe haven of a laundry room downstairs and kids surrounded me with concern, guilt, and offers of saving their money to fix it. At that point I was too far gone to really care about their good intentions to fix their damage...I sobbed...and all my worries....concerns...were released at that moment. It felt good to cry.
I realized that when the mom truly has a moment of crying...meltdown...the kids STOP and listen...reset themselves and start over. They changed back into the loving..friends they typically are...and hard working kids. The house was picked up and vacuumed and laundry put away by them in an hour. They apologized...gave me hugs and the rest of the day was somber but so much better.
Although it was a tough day...it was a day of letting things out and starting over. I needed it...the kids needed it...and the animals outside listening to all the chaos needed it too!! =)
So life is REAL here at the Holen House. Most days are filled with friendships and love but boy when we are all "off"....we are in a big way!
I would love to attach a picture of the lovely wall but I blocked it with the couch and still can't bear to look at it.
Just keepin' it real folks!
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