SAHM

I don't really know how to do it..if I should do it...but I want to!

I want to be that Stay at home mom!  (SAHM)

I love my job though too.  I just think that right now my job is to be at home...

I look at Delaney and she will be 2 already in September.  How can this be?

In 2-3 years she will be in school already.   That is such a short amount of time that I want to be home for all of it.  

I am not one of those that can just jump right into something or give something up without serious thought....research!  I don't want to totally leave the work scene....just perhaps not as much.

Then the internal dialogue starts of what perhaps others may say..."well...you only work 5 shift every 2 weeks...that is nothing."  Well mind you that usually 3 of those are nite shifts which essentially robs me of about 6 days because of the recovery time after doing them.  

or..."you can do it...there are people that work way more than that and juggle it all".

I just don't want to juggle it all anymore...I keep waiting for God to tell me it is okay.. that he will provide.  He will give me peace about it and tell me it is okay to do this.

I don't think it will happen anytime soon...but any financial ideas to be able to do it would be a blessing.  We don't drive fancy cars...we don't buy a lot of "new " things...we live on 2nd hand or used clothing and we cut back many areas of our lives.  I would give up more too....

I am tired...tired of nite shifts that rob me of my energy, contribute to my depression, and cause me to have sadness.  I want to be present ...in everyday...but yet have work as an option if my home allows it.  

SAHM's out there....how do you do it?