Miss Delaney is ONE!!!!!

September 22nd of 2009 was one day that I 

know something of the higher power was having a say in!!

Back in 2007 when I had Grant...I thought I would have

my tubes tied and 6 children is what we would be happily blessed with.

But with surgery schedule messes....no time available and along with 

my internal anxiety about everything being so "final"...something was trying to tell me to stop...think...and listen to what my instincts were telling me.

I was putting on my happy face to the nurses after Grant was born...and hours after..but inside I was a spinning mess because something was telling me NOT to make the decision to be "DONE".   Soooo  I called Doug because of course it was fair week and he was home by this time loading pigs and expressed my anxiety...all the bumps in the road...and he said "Do what you feel is right" and 

" I will be okay with whatever you decide."   AHHHHHH....can we say RELIEF with a capital R!!

I bailed...chickened out..whatever one wants to call it but I changed my mind and NO TUBAL FOR ME...that was a higher power whispering if not yelling at me to listen to them.  It wasn't over for me...

I dreamed many times that I was going to have a girl with dark hair...many dreams....many nites of taking care of babes in the nursery I would see in my mind what my daughter would look like...

and on 9-22-09....she arrived!!   SHE was a surprise...I thought it would be a HE....Right after she came out...with one loooong push...I looked down...saw the umbilical cord..and yep figured for a split second there...another boy...but then Dr. Norgard moved that cord...and my eyes saw that my GIRL had arrived!!   I fell back into the bed...hands over my face and cried the hardest tears I had shed in a very long long time....God had blessed us with another girl!!   She was beautiful...exactly how I had pictured her....dark hair and lots of it and the spitting image of her big sister Julia!!   I cried....Doug cried..he cut the cord..(wich he never had done before) and the whole room was whooping and hollering  "Its a girl"  and tears everywhere in the room.  Even Dr. Norgard got a bit choked up...What emotions and what a special presence that was in that room 206 at 2:36pm.....it was a strong presence that continued to make me and staff cry for over an hour!!   I loved that day...l loved that girl that Doug and I had created!!

Miss Delaney Ann Holen

So now a year has gone by...or flown by and she has brought soo much into our lives and a desire or yearning to find the true meaning of what life is...she has inspired me to grow into a better mom, wife, nurse, and just a better me.  I am thankful for her and the incredible gift she has given to me...I look at life with a bit different view...and many days this desire in me brings me to tears.   I cry with joy from her and what she has and is showing me!!

3 months old...of course..fingers in the mouth!

She has my eyes...Doug's face and her brothers long eye lashes...

Although soo  many happy days...I find a bit of sadness in me because this year has gone sooo fast.  I miss the little stage.  I miss the little one sleeping up on my shoulder.  But now...I love her babbling...her smiles...the way she twirls her hair when she nurses...and I love her!!!

My Delaney is one now...

Big Brother Marcus...talking to her and loving  her!

She is a blessing....a gift....a treasure...a girl that has opened my eyes to a new way of thinking...although I always had these feelings of "something more" in me...she has brought them out so I can grow.  Children are amazing. I would have 30 if I could....but I will be blessed with my 7!!