Boy has it been a tough week on the farm.
Dealing with death is difficult..especially for the little ones that just quite can't understand
why things have to let life go.
We have had 2 calves die due to dehydration and illness and 2 kittens killed
by and unknown source.
Can I tell you that it was one of the most emotionally draining week I have had in quite some time. The 2nd calf was Mathias'. Him and I together were going to raise this calf.
A project to call our own. We had named him Clyde.
We bottle fed him twice a day...walked him numerous time with the halter...scratched his neck...talked to him and simply showed our love.
Mathias was proud of his calf and the ease in which he could do his chores each day.
To tell him that Clyde was not strong enough and had died due to illness and heat...was the hardest thing and to see your child overcome with such sadness and grief that it consumed him to the point of almost a fetal position broke me ....it just tore me up.
But with hugs...talking...sharing stories...each day is getting a bit better.
But now there is that fear....fear of if it could happen again if we venture into another calf.
Fear and loss makes us call upon our faith. Faith was my word I chose for 2011.
It is truly been one I have had to focus on.
Faith will get us through...and faith will allow us to move on and pull ourselves up and take another step forward. With my kids hand in mine...we will step forward.
This farm life is tough...happy...sad all mixed together.
It is teaching the kids lessons right along with Doug and I.
Life is a gift...given to us! A reminder that this life we have should never be taken for granted.
I am still sad...but I have my FAITH!!
Aaron and I sat in the chair together and cried while we listened to Joel use the skid loader to bury "Bucky" his steer when he was Mathias' age. Some days on the farm are hard. There aren't words at a time like that.
ReplyDeleteoh...yes that would be a tough sound to listen too!! We just took it one day at a time.
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