It is not always easy...

The day starts out normal..slow sleepy eyes...feet dragging and boys coming to my side for hugs...

The dad is busy getting ready for his day along with kids waiting for their drive to school with dad.  They appear fine...then one or two of them find some little thing to pout about...and I mean LITTLE THING!!

Then I know...well here goes this morning down the drain.

I know that the phone will ring after the dad has dropped the kids off at school and will be down in the dumps about the lack of respect of our children.

I can't fix it....I try and support him when he calls but the pleaser in me then

feels down too because I can't fix things all the time....so now we have two parents down in the dumps.

I am trying to figure out is this "I want to sit in the front"   and "why can't we get there earlier" attitude and comments are normal behavior for kids or are we reading more into it.   Is it a reflection of our parenting that makes our kids EXPECT things vs be THANKFUL for what they have?  Is it ATTENTION seeking behavior?   I don't know.   All I know is that after talking to the Dad...I am sad.  I wish life was perfect...I always feel responsible for making everyone happy...but I think we need to also not give these kids attention when they behave or spout off the way they do...maybe just maybe when they see they get no response or attention from it...they may stop.

All I know is that today....their behavior just earned them a ticket to ride the bus now every morning.  Except Marcus...his older brothers spend so much time bickering and sassing off as they drive down the road...that the Dad feels robbed of just this sweet 5 year old that wants to TALK just TALK with his daddy!   I remember when the older boys used to want to TALK too....now it seems like it is just WANTS!!   What can I get?  Why didn't I get it?

Arghhhh...parenting is exhausting and at times feels so self defeating.

I turn it over to God...hopefully he will give the DAD some strength today and some hope that things are okay...

So....I am just saying this large family living isn't always easy....but I don't think I ever let anyone think it was....it is just what we do!