What up with dat???

Okay...sooo this has been a long time waiting to get this blog thing back on track...and me back on track..   I am tired...tired...and did I say tired?   I love my large family, large farm, large everything but its taking its toll...does anyone else ever feel this way?   I just can not keep up and this organization goal of mine seems to be for the birds cuz its sure not panning out for my kids.

I think my anxiety level is at its highest...nope I am not a super mom....super women...super anything really...just me who gives and give a little more in all honesty just to get perhaps a little glimpse of feeling respected...appreciated...but that just doesn't seem to be the theme around this holen house.  The mom is trying...treading water....keeping my head above water, but i feel like I am sinking.   Any tips out there to try and get myself re-centered.  I have these great ideas and dreams of how I think this busy house should run...but it only does for a day or two and then i am back to square one and my anxiety on high again.  I know...blah blah blah...poor Kim....truly...I am not looking for any sympathy... just perhaps someone to "get it"  get what I am going through and offer just perhaps a tap on the shoulder or a word or two of support.  I feel abnormal and lately internally exhausted.  

I love my family...I love what they bring to my life...I just am trying to find something that I think is missing...faith perhaps and the feeling that I am worth it...and what I want in this family is a good thing.