Is there a way?

     I was just telling Doug yesterday that I just can't seem to get the feel for things lately.  I am struggling with decisions lately.  I have a dream...goal...or desire whatever ya want to call it to be at home more...or else work "smarter"   I love my job...love my family...but right now just feel this house and my kids need me more right now.  Especially as summer approaches.  Sooo....how do you go from a steady income to cutting back a bit?  I would like to quit daycare all together to save some money....work less scheduled shifts and perhaps pick up some pm  (3-11) shifts that allow me to still make some money but be home more during the day this summer.  I just can't make up my mind....or think of ways to cut the budget some to make it less of a need to work.  
     I look at the calander and all the obligations...kids activities...Doug's meetings....and I think how much smoother it would be if I can just be at home more to run the home front....I think this summer it would work since the older girls could do some...just some...babysitting for me so that I can work the evening shift....I truly try not to make them watch the other kids too much because I don't want that thrown in my face when they get older.
     I love being at home...I know I say this ALL the time....but I can't help it.  Is is my anxiety that makes me want to stay home...cuz the more I am pulled from home...the farther I get behind...or is it me wanting to isolate myself in our large family living...or...perhaps its just the love of my kiddos and home making me want to stay put....?????
     Creative budgeting and thinking is what I need to focus on now.  I feel like a broken record.  I know that God never gives us more than we can handle....he will provide...things happen for a reason.  The answers will come to me...in time...its just me wanting answers NOW...patience is not always my best feature...

   ...I look at this picture...it gives me peace..we all walk together..I am blessed!